Kissed: The Beginning of the End
by Anhalir
Summary: CC gave us Alec's point of view on their first kiss, but what about Magnus? This is my interpretation of Magnus' perspective in Cassandra Clare's extra "Kissed".


**Hi All! This is the first fanfic I have written in a very long time, and needless to say I am nervous. I hope you all like it. The dialogue is not mine. It is Cassandra Clares as is these wonderful boys. I am just having fun getting into their heads a bit. This is also semi dedicated to my internet buddy ValiantMongoose. Since she inspired me to think on this a bit, and I know she's had a rough few weeks. If anything I hope this makes you smile, at least. **

Alexander Lightwood. It was the only given name of a Lightwood he had ever remembered, and very probably ever would. Magnus made it a habit to stay out of the business of shadowhunters for more often than not it ended poorly for him, but it appeared as though he was a magnet for them. His positive energy pulling in their negative until they converged, invariably leaving Magnus in a much fouler mood. A disconcerted shiver rushed through his veins. There was something hauntingly familiar about the blonde one, Jack was it?

His hand itched to reach for the chest, the last vestige of nearly forgotten friends buried in the bottom of his hallway closet, and instead reached for the remote control that had made a surprising appearance. (How it found its way into the bathroom was beyond him.) It was an addiction, of sorts, submersing oneself in the memories instead of choosing to live in the moment. Admittedly, it was his fault. He surrendered to the craving after he'd cleared his apartment. Alexander looked startlingly like William, and despite their difference in demeanor, Magnus found himself needing to see Will's picture just to be certain he was safely in the past. It had only been a moment before those vexatious nephil progeny returned, but a moment was all he needed. The problem with this, of course, was that once one revisits a drug it's significantly harder to stop.

Magnus snapped the television to life, and proceeded to snap his fingers in a rhythmic motion until he found a channel to settle on; remote control long forgotten though he still held it. "Settle" Was the operative word. Blue eyes and dark hair clouded his mind to the point that he looked up only to realize the episode was nearly over. It has been a week since he'd left Alexander's bedside realizing that he'd long overstayed his welcome. Catarina often told him he fell too quickly. He couldn't help but wonder how the beautiful boy was doing, and if thoughts of Magnus ever drifted through his mind. Magnus was pulled from his highly imaginative reverie by the sound of his buzzer. He couldn't decide if it was a blessing or a curse, and ultimately decided it was a curse for it took his mind away from this bewitching boy.

His voice boomed through the loft. "WHO CALLS UPON THE HIGH WARLOCK?" The silence that permeated afterward pleased him. It was not as if he was angry, exactly, but there was something to be said about scaring a client into submission.

"Er," The surprisingly familiar voice said. "It's me. I mean, Alec. Alec Lightwood."

A breath caught in Magnus's chest causing a burning sensation to pervade his being. Of all the people Magnus anticipated on his door step, he was the last. He healed the shadowhunter to the best of his ability, but he anticipated he would still need rest. This goes without saying that a _nephilim_ was standing on his doorstep; a beautifully striking nephilim who was too intriguing not to explore. The last time he had heard that voice it was screaming in pain and agony, loud and cacophonous. It pained him just to recall the vivid memory. Now it was soft and reticent, just as he had remembered the boy the night of the party notwithstanding his bold words. The thought made his heart flutter and his smile warmed with anticipation and optimism.

It dawned on him abruptly, that he had yet to let the poor boy into the building, and he leapt into action pressing the button upon the intercom with gusto. In his excitation, the hem of his shirt had risen, and though he was not opposed to the idea he did not want to come on too strong (the shirt was short enough as it was). There were other ways to be forward with the young nephilim without petrifying him, and would better enable him to study the boy. Plus, it was a magnificent shirt. Magnus debated a bit of make-up, but decided he didn't have the time. He wanted to see the boy so badly; his body nearly ached with yearning.

With Chairman Meow stowed and secured, Magnus opened the door, and waited ever so impatiently for Alexander to crest the stairs. When he did, Magnus was by no means disappointed. His clothes were dreadful, but their lack of flair meant that Magnus did not miss Alec's appraisal of his form before staring abashedly at his own shoes. His hopes came to fruition at the small blush, and a new level of intrigue flourished. Magnus had drawn the conclusion that Alexander was gay at the party, but one could appreciate having the conclusion solidified into certainty. Not to mention, Magnus was just checked out by the most attractive nephilim he'd ever seen. Who wouldn't be pleased?

"Alexander Lightwood," he purred, loving the way the name rolled of his tongue. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

Striking blue eyes avoided his gaze and looked passed him. Was the Chairman preparing to make an escape? "Do you have — company?"

That was a curious question. Perhaps it was even an innocent question, but the possible implications set him on edge. The last thing Magnus wished to do with his evening was be invaded by the nephilim conclave. It never ceased to amaze him how quickly nephilim forgot the good deeds of downworlders. However, this boy had such an honest disposition and he doubted this was the case. Magnus folded his arms across his chest and leaned against the door producing a casual air of nonchalance that was as imposing as it was indifferent. "Why do you want to know?"

"I was hoping I could come in and talk to you."

"Hmmm." Magnus returned the shadowhunter's gesture and looked him over openly. Alec's gait was smooth with lack of injury, and the agility known only to the nephilim. It was an agreeable quality that complimented his height and build well. Few were nearly as tall as Magnus - a fact he took great pleasure in- but he found he didn't mind that Alexander stood nearly nose to nose with him and would possibly one day be taller. It was a paradox he'd have to explore later for his mind was fixated on another series of thoughts. What could Alexander wish to discuss? Magnus found himself hoping that it had something to do with the call the boy never made. This was a pleasing thought indeed. "Well, all right then."

Having made the nephilim sufficiently uncomfortable, Magnus turned abruptly and re-entered his apartment. It was best to keep those shadowhunters on their toes, or they start thinking they own the place. Magnus draped himself on the ottoman and examined Alec's entrance. The action was long and studious as if the furniture could tell him everything he needed to know about its owner. In that moment, Magnus was reminded of how open and honest Alec's facial features were; an enigma considering his heritage. However, he couldn't say he minded the view. "Would you like some tea?"

Alec merely nodded the words escaping him. It was almost as if he was frustrated at his inability to speak, but that it was also something he reconciled himself to. Interesting. Magnus found it adorable, and admired the power he seemed to have over the young nephilim.

"Sure." So he speaks. In the quiet nature of one who doesn't voice his opinion often. Considering the company he held, Magnus wasn't entirely surprised. He could easily see how any opinion the boy had was steam rolled by the likes of his sister and blondie. That thought alone caused of plume of anger to develop within Magnus's stomach. However, there was a sharpness to his bottle blue eyes that suggested a cunning intelligence. It was a piece to be added to the puzzle that was Alexander Lightwood. With a light snap of his fingers, and a flashy bit of blue flame, he filled the nephilim's empty hand with a wax paper cup of steaming tea. "By the Angel -"

Magnus fought a grin, "I LOVE that expression. It's so quaint." It was an expression that truly separated the nephilim from their mundane cohorts by establishing their supposed superiority. Magnus found it very Matrix-esque, and there was a reason why they should have only made one.

Alexander regarded him critically, and Magnus found himself drinking in his face. How did he ever mistake this boy for Will? Perhaps a first glance they could be mistaken, but now that Magnus had a moment he could list the various things that differed in just their physical appearance. "Did you steal this tea?"

Magnus was not going to honor that question with a response. The nephilim liked to rub their rules of decorum in ones face when it suited them, but more often than not they were the first to manipulate the situation to produce the result they desired. So, he chose to focus on what he really wanted to know. "So," he said. "Why are you here?"

The cup served its desire purpose allowing Alec to focus his nervous energy into it. It was much easier for him to talk now that he wasn't focused on his words. "I wanted to thank you," he said as he licked the corner of his lip, thoroughly distracting Magnus. "For saving my life."

That mouth may have been distracting, but those eyes told no lies. There was more to Alexander's purpose than just to thank him. Magnus decided his form of retaliation by leaning back on the ottoman. The movement caused its intended reaction. Alexander's focus was drawn to his now exposed skin, and the sheer intensity of his gaze produced an excited shiver. Magnus's voice was level and perfunctory. "You wanted to thank me."

"You saved my life," Alec reaffirmed. "But I was delirious, and I don't think I really thanked you. I know you didn't have to do it. So thank you."

Alexander really was quite the enigma. Magnus had never encountered a truly humble shadowhunter before. Will had had moments of humility, but there was always an expectation. Needless to say the experience was almost startling. His brows rose at the magnitude of the realization, but also at the lack of admission. There was something else clearly on the boy's mind. Would one fidget over _thanking_ a warlock for his services? Services he'd never been paid for, he might add. "You're . . . welcome?"

He saw the instant Alec shut down as his open eyes became guard and closed off. "Maybe I should go." The tea cup came down onto the coffee table and seemed to emphasize the sincerity of his statement. It wasn't a threat by any means, he was simply running away.

Okay, so Magnus could have adjusted his tone, but really who did Alexander think he was fooling? The boy was so close. Magnus sat up with a new found sense of urgency. Perhaps he just needed a little nudge. "After you came so far? All the way to Brooklyn? Just to thank me?" Magnus grinned at the double meaning. Alexander was at a precipice. He just needed a little enticement. "Now that would be a wasted effort." To further emphasize his point, Magnus cupped Alec's cheek following the defined line of his cheekbone with his thumb. Two things happened, then, that he did not intend. A spark of electricity jolted through his hand, as if touching Alexander had been the kick start his heart needed to start beating again. Magnus had had his fair share of lovers, and intrigues, but never had he responded so intrinsically. Then he focused on the expression on Alexander's face. It was a look of pure shock and astonishment. That was not the surprising part. What caught him off guard was the sincerity, the open longing that was also mixed into those beautiful oceanic orbs. Magnus dropped his hand as he ruminated over this new discovery. "Huh."

"What?" Alec's insecurity rushed through his features completely unchecked causing a twinge of sympathy in Magnus. "What is it?" What on this plane could have caused this broken angel to be insecure?

"You're just…" Movement caught Magnus' eye as the small form of Chairman Meow scampered across the floor. Without even thinking, Magnus scooped the cat up and tucked him into the crook of his arm, feeling the desire to pet him. The Chairman ignored his owner in the disinterested fashion most cats do, and eyed their visitor carefully. "Not what I expected."

"From a Shadowhunter?"

"From a Lightwood."

"I didn't realize you knew my family that well."

"I've known your family for hundreds of years." This was true even though he couldn't keep their names straight. The point was that in personality and action they were identifiably similar. There was something to be said about the argument of nature vs. nurture, but Alexander was a testament to the fact that there are always exceptions to the rule. And rules… Well, Magnus had thoughts about rules. "Now your sister, she's a Lightwood. You—'

"She said you liked me."

"What?" Magnus was too shocked to pout about being interrupted.

"Izzy. My sister. She told me you liked me. _Liked_ me, liked me."

"_Liked_ you, liked you?" Magnus fought a grin and failed. He knew that Alexander would shut down the minute he saw it and quickly burrowed into the fur of the Chairman's shoulders. It was such a childlike, innocent statement that he could hardly believe that the nephil had spoken it. "Sorry. Are we twelve now? I don't recall saying anything to Isabelle . . ."

"Jace said it too." ("_Jace",_ that was blondie's name.) There was a stubborn quality that Magnus had to admire about the boy. Earlier, teasing him had nearly sent him packing, but now that he was getting to the root of his appearance Alexander was stout and unflinching. Was it that there was something about Jace that bolstered his confidence, or did he simply decide that there was no backing out now? "That you liked me. That when he buzzed up here, you thought he was me and you were disappointed that it was him. That never happens." He had been disappointed, and dare he say it his ego had been a bit bruised.

However, all that fell to the wayside in the wake of Alexander's words. No wonder the boy had confidence issues. "Doesn't it? Well, it should." Magnus was beginning to develop a severe dislike for Jace. From their short visit, Magnus had developed a cursory idea of Jace's character, and it was quite scathing. He came off as an arrogant sort of person who would force his opinion if one wasn't convinced in the first place. Magnus admired witticism, but Jace also gave off the impression of manipulation and someone who was willing to do something like that to a friend was incorrigible.

Alexander's eyes widened with fright and reverence. "No – I mean Jace, he's… Jace." Oh this would not do.

"He's trouble," The worst kind of trouble, but Magnus knew better than to comment as such. "But you are totally without guile. Which in a Lightwood, is a conundrum. You've always been a plotting sort of family, like low-rent Borgias. But there isn't a lie in your face. I get the feeling everything you say is straightforward." Benewhathisface was the worst of them; consorting with demons while making a play to gain control of the London institute. He would have been successful, too, if it hadn't been for a secret he wanted kept. That was another thing about Lightwoods… they liked their secrets.

Alexander leaned in, and Magnus fought the compulsion to lean in as well. "Do you want to go out with me?"

Magnus had not been prepared for that question, and something about it didn't sit well with him. So, he rolled with it the best way he knew how. "See, that's what I mean. Straightforward."

The air was still around them. Magnus witnessed the dying of a star as Alexander began to fidget, and fought against sterile removed thoughts. What would happen to the boy if he said 'no'? Would he ever find the courage to ask someone else? Despite his desire to say 'yes', the answers to these questions were paramount. Chairman Meow's head tilted back, in response to Magnus's fingers. Clearly he had found a spot even though his fingers were on autopilot. Magnus liked the boy, there was no doubting that but Magnus had encountered beautiful boys before that didn't return his affections, and it was a feeling he didn't wish to experience again. He currently didn't have enough alcohol to deal with that pain, nor good friends to keep him out of trouble. So, he weighed his words carefully. "Why do you want to go out with me?" He caught Chairman Meow's ears between his fingers and rubbed. "Not that I'm not highly desirable, but the way you asked, it seemed as if you were having some sort of a fit-"

"I just do," The blunt quality of Alexander's voice nearly covered the slight quiver. "And I thought you liked me, so you'd say yes, and then I could try – I mean, we could try-" He rubbed at his face with his hands. "Maybe this was a mistake."

And then it was clear what was bothering him. Alexander wanted affection. However, any sort of affection would not do. He wanted to experience what it was like to receive affection from another man. Everything about his demeanor suggested that this was the first time he expressed this desire, and Magnus felt compassion for him. Lightwoods liked their secrets. "Does anyone know you're gay?"

Despite the gentility in Magnus' voice, Alec's head jolted up in panic. Fear dilated his eyes, and Magnus suddenly saw the image of a wild animal caught between the decision to fight or fly. He sincerely hoped Alexander chose fight. "Clary," he finally said, after a breath. His voice was rough and thick with emotion. "Which is… Which was an accident. And Izzy, but she'd never say anything."

"Not your parents. Not Jace?"

"No. No, and I don't want them to know, especially Jace."

Magnus pursed his lips in thought as he deliberated Alec's words. He would go so far as to say that Jace, on some level be it conscious or unconscious, knew Alexander was gay. The way that Alec spoke previously of Jace's comment about Magnus liking him suggested that it wasn't in a derisive fashion. It just simply was. "I think you could tell him." It would be good for the boy to be open with his _parabatai_. The bond between them was stronger than any other, tying their threads of fate so that one cannot exist without the other. Case in point: Abbadon. "He went to pieces like a jigsaw puzzle when he thought you were going to die. He cares-"

"I'd rather not." Alexander's shoulders heaved with the effort of his breath. Magnus followed the motion to his hands which were fisted in the knees of his pants. He was _nervous_. And in that moment, everything fell into place. Magnus saw a boy who, at an early age, recognized that he was attracted to boys instead of girls, and that it was _wrong_. Shadowhunters were a population that was slowly dying off which left two simple rules: protect the mundane population from the demons that threaten their miserable existence, and breed the next generation of nephilim. How could one achieve such a goal if one couldn't stand the touch of the opposite sex? It was an unfair expectation that reminded Magnus of the stupidity of nephilim law. An agonizing scream of pure desperation bounced through the walls of his memory. Nephilim did not like that which was different, and those who embraced the difference were punished strictly. He understood what Jace meant to Alec, now. There were few bonds as close as _parabatai_, and a fearful boy could easily mistake the affection one has for his brother in arms for something more. But that was also the beauty of it. It was prohibited for _parabatai_ to enter into any sort of relationship with one another. Alexander's secret was safe as long as his affections were placed where they could not come to light. It made perfect, painful sense. "I've never had a date," he breathed ever so softly. "Never kissed anyone. Not ever. Izzy said you liked me and I thought-"

"I'm not unsympathetic. But do you _like_ me? Because this being gay business doesn't mean you can just throw yourself an any guy and it'll be fine because he's not a girl. There are still people you like and because the nature of the individuals was different, that didn't mean he should plunge unabashedly at someone just because they shared orientation. It was unfair to both parties, and Magnus was wont to fall quickly. In fact, he couldn't deny that the descent had already begun, and he didn't want to be treated as some sort of psychological experiment.

"Yes," Alec said, surely. "I like you."

Determined, Alexander met Magnus' gaze yet again showing the warlock the purity and candidness of his soul. Magnus found it moving, but the stark contrast between his skin, hair and eyes also caused a ghost to drift through his mind. Will held a similar look, once upon a time. It spoke of resolve, and even a challenge. However, Will's story had been a tragic one, and transposing that tale upon Alec was unsettling. "It's so odd," Magnus intoned. "Genetics. Your eyes, that color –" Alexander was not Will. Alexander was… not… Will.

"The Lightwoods you knew didn't have blue eyes?"

Magnus grinned at the double meaning of his words, "Green-eyed monsters." The nerves sapped from his being, and Magnus found himself feeling lighter. Alexander Lightwood was a fascinating young man, and Magnus discovered he wanted to know him better. Apparently, the Chairman had a similar idea. After he placed the feline on the floor, Magnus found him curling through Alec's legs rubbing against them affectionately. "The Chairman likes you."

"Is that good?"

"I never date anyone my cat doesn't like," It was stated with such ease that one would almost think it was true (it mostly was). Magnus moved to stand. He doubted the boy intended they go out this very instant and his jubilation was barely being contained. "So let's say Friday night?"

"Really? You want to go out with me?"

Magnus found himself chuckling. There was something endearing in Alexander's hopefulness. It was a shame he had so little confidence, but they could work on that. "You have to stop playing hard to get, Alexander. It makes things difficult." His chuckle grew into a grin at the slight blush on the boy's cheeks. Magnus could almost… "Come on, I'll walk you out."

The trek to the door was slow and leisurely, each man adrift in a sea of thoughts. Magnus could tell that a weight had been lifted from the shadowhunter's shoulders, and he couldn't be more pleased. Well, that was a lie. There was one more thing he would like to try, but it was wholly dependent upon Alec. He maneuvered so that he stood in front of the door. There was no way Alexander would get past him without his express permission, and he waited, casually reading Alec's body language, for the boy to notice.

"What is it?"

"Never kissed anyone?" Magnus had to confess this surprised him. "No one at all?"

"No," came his hesitant reply. "Not a real kiss –"

"Come here." Magnus' mind was made up, now. He caught Alec's elbows and coaxed him closer. If he was truly opposed to the idea, Magnus' grip was light enough that he could pull away. He was muscled and probably had runes burned into his skin that would give him the advantage in a fight, but he didn't move. That was the first success. Magnus absently noted he liked the way Alec's arms felt in his grasp. Slowly, tenderly, he used a single finger to lift Alec's lowered head and kissed him experimentally. The world dimmed until the two men remained. Heat ebbed through his being instantaneously like fire surging in his veins. It was baffling. In all his time on this plane, never had Magnus experienced such an inherent reaction. It was as if the boy was a lifeline, pulling him into a world he hadn't completely comprehended. Alexander gasped, and Magnus pushed his advantage with an urgency he couldn't recall ever feeling before. It escalated as tongues clashed and teeth nipped. Magnus felt timelessness fall away and all that was left was them.

Sparks danced across the skin of his stomach, and Magnus jolted at the sensation. Once he realized that Alec had managed to get beneath his shirt, he was giddy. Despite his quiet demeanor, it appeared as though the young shadowhunter was quite eager. Magnus liked eager. The gesture, in his mind, also gave him permission to explore, and soon his hands were smoothing over chest, arms, and finally his middle. Fingers caught in fabric, and he pulled bringing Alec flat against him. His lungs burned as the sensation of drowning took hold. He needed to breathe, but if he did it felt like it might be his last. Suddenly, he broke away and buried his face in Alec's neck continuing once his hazy mental faculties realized that the shadowhunter was still there. It registered, just as quickly, that he needed to stop. If he pushed the boy too far, any and all plans would come crumbling down and he wanted to know Alexander Lightwood, badly.

The smell of worn leather and sweat permeated his senses as he inhaled and pulled away to meet brilliant blue eyes. "Now you've been kissed," and before he could do it again, he pulled the door open behind him. He'd dream about that kiss tonight, he was sure of it. "See you Friday?" He could only hope Alexander felt the same way.

Intent on Alec's face as he passed through the door Magnus did not expect what happened next. A warmth spread across his chest before he was jerked forward, and suddenly he was falling through space and time until his lips found purchase in the rough and swollen lips of his shadowhunter. They were kissing again hard and sloppy, but Magnus couldn't care less for it was a kiss that Alec initiated. Getting to know this boy was going to be quite the exhilarating experience, and his heart raced with the thought.

"Friday," Alexander said with an amalgam of certainty and excitement, and Magnus was astounded. He had been expecting soft and shy. Confidence was clearly not a strong suit for the young nephilim, and yet he managed to find the upper hand without even realizing it especially with his grandiose exit. It was enticing and invigorating, really, and the thought made Magnus grin perhaps the boy would live up to his heritages in ways neither one of them anticipated.

"Lightwoods," Mangus spoke with amusement and fondness. "They always have to have the last word." Perhaps in the future, he would have to challenge that statement, but for now he would focus on the sweet tingling of his lips as he planned for the much anticipated evening.

**So what do you all think? I know my writing can use some work, but if I didn't scare anyone away, I will happily take prompts By no means am I demanding them. I like being creative as it is something I don't get to do very often with my profession. **


End file.
